About a week ago I gave myself permission to eat whatever the hell I want, whenever I want. No limits. Nothing out of bounds. Nothing is banned. Pizza, ice cream, chocolate, Maccas breakfast - It is all freely available to me whenever I want it. The first thing this did, was to stop me craving it. As soon as I knew that if I really REALLY wanted something I would allow myself to have it and not beat myself up over it, it lost some of its appeal (not ALL of its appeal mind you) LOL
Yesterday was one of those days. I was feeling sick, tired, achey, stressed, pre-menstrual, and damn it, I wanted to eat crap.
So I did... I ate a fair bit (although not as much as I would have done in the past)
And it tasted goooood. :)
I ate way too much and it is highly unlikely I will lose any weight this week, and I don't care. It made me feel good.
Yes, I know, we are not meant to use food for our emotions, but the fact is, I do. I always have. And the sooner I accept that, the sooner I can deal and move on. To me, food = comfort and happiness. I can not change that. I have tried for nearly 40 years. It is never going to change. So I accept it.
I ate what I wanted, and I enjoyed it. No guilt or recriminations. My biggest concern was that once I started stuffing my face I would never want to stop again.
Then an interesting thing happened. This morning I have no desire for any crappy food whatsoever. None. I want to eat healthy. I drove past Maccas on the way to work (which usually elicits a longing look, a sigh, and a deep craving) and I turned my nose up. The thought of it was a turn off. I actually wanted to eat my oats. I have a healthy lunch with me and I am looking forward to eating it. The binge thoughts that have been plaguing me, pretty much since the beginning of the year, are gone. I am looking forward to eating well and feeling well as a result.